The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander
The second session of our Parent Education Series (PES) for the 2017-2018 school year took place last Thursday evening. It was highly interactive and immersive. The session was jointly facilitated by the principal, Mrs. Bola Kalejaiye and Mr. Taiwo Akinlami. Mr. Akinlami is….
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
What is bullying? Who are the players and how do they contribute to or detract from bullying? Why do children bully? What are the effects of bullying? The session opened with a brief overview to provide sufficient background information for the role plays.
ROLE PLAYS
Our parents and teachers split into drama groups to act out scenarios and reflect on all the players’ roles, experiences and emotions. We created scenarios from typical concerns we’ve received from parents.
Scenario #1 Synopsis:
Amina and Titi are in the same class, both are 9 years old. Amina often sits next to Titi and whispers mean things to her under her breath. Titi doesn’t know how to report it because their teacher discourages tattling. She dreads sitting beside Amina but Amina always seeks her out.
Scenario #2 Synopsis:
Dolapo is two years old. He often snatches toys from his friends and tends to pinch or even bite them when they try to get back what was taken from them. The other children’s parents are becoming concerned as their children come home with marks on their body. Ms. Chika invited Dolapo’s dad for a discussion. He responds: “my child is used to defending his territory because he has two older siblings at home”.
Scenario #3 Synopsis:
Goke is a child on the autism spectrum. He enjoys circle time and group activities especially as he is usually asked to be the teacher’s assistant. However, on Tuesday during circle time, the teacher asked another friend Aaron to be her assistant. Goke became upset, ran to Aaron and began spitting at him. The teacher brushes the incident aside saying that Aaron should understand ‘Goke’s condition’. This response to Goke’s behavior occurs regularly.
Scenario #4 Synopsis:
Ekanem and Voke like to work together in their Children’s House classroom. A new friend Ngozi joined the class and took a liking to Voke. They started working together often. Ekanem became weepy and would often threaten not to be Voke’s friend nor invite him to her play date. Ekanem frequently cries not to come to school in the morning.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
As the drama groups discussed, planned their scripts and prepared their performances, they were give the following questions to guide their conversations:
About the bully:
How does a parent avoid being in denial?
What is the root cause of my child’s behaviour?
How is our family culture contributing to the behavior?
How can I partner with my child’s teacher to help my child?
What can I do about the families my child has grieved?
About the bullied:
What does the future look like for a child who experiences long term bullying without getting justice?
How do I help my child not to be a potential victim?
How does my proposed response by my child support his/her development as a peacemaker?
About the bystander:
How do we find the balance between “help a person in need” and “mind your own business”
The evening was rounded up by a Q and A session. We will keep the conversation going on one of our social media platforms.